Learning to live again

For most of my adult life I was more interested in my career than what I ate or drank. I lived on coffee, coke, cigarettes and maybe one meal a day. If you asked any of my co-workers what I did for lunch, it would get you the same answer every time. A Coke and a smoke.

I lived for my passion, my career, broadcast television. I started as a late night master control operator and camera man. I worked my way up over the years to General Manager of a television station I helped put on air. Total bliss for someone of my mentality.

I had reached all of my goals. Lucky me. Yes, I am very lucky man.

I then left that world at the request of my daughter to become something I never planned for. Dedicated grandfather to my new reason for living.

None of this was supposed to happen.

I was born with heart problems that only due the efforts of my parents and the American Heart Association (please donate) was I able to recover from. Still I had only a limited life expectancy. At some point I would simply wear out my heart and it would be over. No one mentioned that future developments might change this outcome. I lived my life expecting the end would come at anytime. My focus on career showed my disregard for any other outcome. I was doing what I wanted, expecting it to end at any time. Selfish, I know this but not knowing how else to proceed, what could I do?

Then the end came. In August 2008 I suffered congestive heart failure. Organs failed and shut down. Energy went away. Life as I knew it stopped. The efforts of some talented doctors and support of family and a couple amazing friends extended my life beyond where I had planned. Now I had to rebuild my daily routine to follow their desires for me to live beyond my expectations.

Again I am a very lucky man and I know this.