Happy Butt

My daughter Caroline and her husband Ryan as well the whole family are looking forward to the arrival of their first child in a few months.

Caroline called us this last night to inform us that the doctor had determined that she going to have a little girl. This being the case Caroline has been pushing family members to suggest names for this little bundle of joy. Anybody that knows me is well aware that this is not a question you wish to ask if you are looking for some sort of reasonable response.

While I am one of those who think that a person's name has a great influence on how they turn out, (how many great, talented people do you know named "Wilbur"?) I could not resist of offering up my suggestion and stating that my choice would come with the nick name of Happy Butt. That I would call the little girl Happy Butt and perhaps on her 12th or 13th birthday I would explain this nick name to her. Much to my dismay they have chosen to go with something else not having the foresight to allow me this well planned event. So, you want to know my choice in naming this child? It is all explained in the following joke.

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Happy Butt

This lovely little girl was entering class for the first time. A friendly little boy said his name was "David, what is yours?"

"Happy Butt" she says.

"Don't lie to me, that isn't your name! What is your name?"

"Happy Butt" she says again.

"I'm going to tell the teacher on you for lying!" he shouts. He gets the teacher and says she is lying to him about her name.

"What is your name?" asks the teacher.

"Happy Butt" says the little girl.

"No, no," says the teacher. "What is your real name?"

"Happy Butt" replies the little girl.

"Shame on you for lying." says the teacher. "You go straight to the principal's office right this minute!"

"Why are you here?" asks the principal of the little girl.

"They think I'm lying when I tell them my name is Happy Butt." said the little girl.

"Your name can't be Happy Butt" says the principal. "I'm going to call your mother right this minute and straighten this out. You mustn't lie to us about your name." The principal calls the mother and says, "We have your little girl here and she keeps telling us her name is 'Happy Butt.'"

"Oh, that must be Gladys," says the mother.

"Well, little girl, your mother says your name is Gladys," says the principal. 

The little girl replies, "Happy Butt, Glad Ass, what's the difference?"