Sunday, June 17, 2001

Father's Day

Father's Day is your chance to say or do something nice for the one man you can always count on, Dad! The guy who taught you how to ride a bike, throw a ball, or drive a car. The guy who looks forward to a nice mushy card and a tie for Father's Day. 

Yea right! I don't know about your dad, but that is not mine. My dad never taught me to ride a bike or throw a ball and he doesn't want another tie. My dad had more important lessons to offer. Lessons such as a garden hose, a power nozzle and a bedroom window are perfect tools to wake up teenagers who try to sleep in on the weekends. If you ask your kids to sweep the driveway or patio, that sweeping up dry dirt and leaves is just too easy, get it wet first to make it more challenging. If you have an attractive daughter you can get several teenage boys to volunteer to help you do just about anything. If we are not catching any fish, it is because I am not holding my mouth right. Putting small bugs on your kids hamburger while it's on the grill and then waiting for them to ask what the crunchy stuff is, can be fun for the whole family. 

He also taught me that if I did not sleep in his house on Christmas Eve that Santa would not know where to find me. This was a fun one to explain to my wife. He is the kind of dad who will wake you up at 5:30 on Christmas morning to tell you Santa had been there and if you did not get up right now he was going to play with all your stuff. If you were too slow in getting up or made the mistake of going back to sleep, he would get out your stuff and play with it. I don't think many kids had to try and beat dad to their toys on Christmas, but that's the way it was at my house. You may have guessed that my dad is not short on a sense of humor. In between teaching us how to take on the world he had quite a bit of fun giving us a hard time. I can only hope that your dad did just the same.

Happy Father's Day

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